How could that be!? What was the purpose in life? Why are we here? Who are we? Who made us? Who made them? And of course, who made the ones who made the ones who made us? (Ad infinitum.)
So many questions and so little answers.
I was flabbergasted; dumbfounded. “You mean we have to figure out all this shit out on our own?” I thought incredulously. So, it’s ‘Hey welcome to the world. We’ll cuddle you, make you feel warm, safe and happy, then when you’re nice and comfortable we’ll start giving you the bad news’. And in many cases, certainly in mine, I just find out about it abruptly on my own one random Tuesday afternoon. I heard someone say the then-sacrilegious statement that there is no Santa Clause. If you’re lucky, you might get some parents who break it to you gently and are there to reassure you that yes, even though there is no ‘real’ Santa, that his giving and caring spirit does exist.
Or likely, like me, you heard it on the playground one day and were so shocked that you started polling your friends and grilling your parents for the truth of the matter. Either way, it likely turned out badly. There are just too many ways those types of conversations can go wrong.
And then you start hearing opposing theories about all those questions you still have and won’t seem to go away.
Well, let’s step back for a minute. First, you learn what a theory is. That’s when they tell you that much of what you’ve taken to be undisputable hard facts of life up until this point, are still only theories. That much of the information we rely on and trust and make predictions about only ever get to rise to the level of theory. And that theories are based on even weaker hypothesis which amount to educated guesses.
How is anyone expected to make a solid go of life with this setup? It’s not a formula for success when you go from believing your parents are always right to finding out they were just winging it was well.
Back in the late 80’s I was sitting on a curb talking to friends late one night. When suddenly, out of nowhere, the ground underneath me started to move. The same ground I had always envisioned as unshakable was now swaying from side to side like a rickety chair on its last leg.
I was born and raised in LA so Earthquakes were nothing new to me, but I had never felt one like this. I was usually half asleep when they happened or running around too much to notice. But this time I was sitting on a street curb so I was directly and firmly connected to the ground when this one happened. It amped up the experience.
I never saw the ground the same after that. And that same sense of having my foundation shaken was what I experienced in talking to the adults in my life about life’s big questions.
I was simply never the same.
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